The Power of Being Vulnerable
Image: NY Times
Rebekah Prendergast explains why being vulnerable is good for you….
Doing new things can be scary, and joining one of our surf therapy programs is no exception.
Surfing and therapy can be nerve-wracking experiences on their own, so throw them together and you've got what might be a daunting experience for many.
We avoid doing new things, or things that make us nervous, because it's far easier to stay in our comfort zone. It's comfortable, we know what to expect, and there's minimal change or surprise to throw us off balance.
But the reality is, stepping outside your comfort zone could be the best thing you ever do for yourself. There's a famous quote from Author Neale Donald Walsch which is, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone".
The past two years have been a bit of a rollercoaster, showing us that life can be precious and full of surprises. What I have learnt - as I'm sure many others have - is that life is simply too short to take a back seat and watch from the sidelines.
So, what does it take to step outside your comfort zone? Lots of words come to mind including strength, courage and determination.
But there's one word that I think really sums it up, and it is vulnerability.
In the past vulnerability has had a negative connotation, and how could it not when the Cambridge Dictionary defines it as "able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked".
But in recent times vulnerability has had a ‘glow-up’, mostly thanks to American Professor and Author Brené Brown. You may have heard of her – she's kind of a big deal!
Brown delivered a very popular TED Talk in 2014 called "The Power of Vulnerability", and more recently has released a documentary on Netflix called "The Call to Courage".
The main premise of Brown's research into vulnerability is that it's not about winning or losing, it's "having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome".
Be Vulnerable with WOW
We love the key messages from Brown on vulnerability because they show how you can benefit from stepping outside of your comfort zone through something such as one of our surf therapy programs. Here are some of our favourite messages…
Don't Bottle up your Emotions, Become Self-Aware
Growing up most of us were taught to hide our emotions or avoid feeling them. Modern cultures err on the side of suppressed feelings in an effort to display strength. However, bottling up your emotions is not good for you and will only cause pain and stress in the long run.
Instead, Brown's message is that we need to become more self-aware and explore our emotions, asking questions to get in touch with how we are feeling and thinking.
Our surf therapy sessions provide the perfect place to do this. Every session begins with an ‘expression session’ on the beach where participants can talk openly and share stories, feelings and emotions. And it's not just participants doing the sharing, it's also our facilitators. This is a safe space to step outside of your comfort zone and be vulnerable in a relaxed and welcoming setting.
Show up, Face Fear and Move Forward
Fear and criticism are present in many things we do, restricting us from stepping outside our comfort zones and taking on new challenges and experiences. However, the best course of action, says Brown, is to always show up and move forward. The more you stand up to these negative forces, the more you'll flex those courage muscles and come out stronger.
You might find the idea of sharing your feelings daunting, or you might be petrified of hitting the waves on a surfboard for the first time, but we guarantee the benefits you'll reap will far outweigh the fear. Facing your fears will make you a stronger and more resilient person in the long run, setting you up to deal with any challenge life throws your way.
Dare to be Yourself
Brown says dare to be yourself, at whatever cost. Fear, insecurity and doubt will always be there no matter how hard you try to avoid or hide them. Instead, face them with courage and confidence in your authentic self and know that you already have the gifts needed to overcome whatever you're facing.
Our surf therapy programs don't only allow you to share your feelings and emotions, but they are an open and welcoming space where participants can truly dare to be themselves.
If you've learnt anything from this blog, I hope that it's by having the courage to be vulnerable and open yourself up to the world around you, you'll live a much more fulfilling and happier life.
Brown's research demonstrates that vulnerability is anything but weakness, and in fact it takes true strength and courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
So - be proud of yourself for all those times you've stepped outside of your comfort zone, and if you're ready to do it again make sure you check out the dates for upcoming surf therapy programs near you.
Joel Pilgrim’s Top Tips for Being Vulnerable
I trained as a mental health therapist in 2008, back then we were instructed not to share any personal things with our patients - at all costs. Call it boundaries, call it professional behaviour - I understood why, but I always had a hard time with it. They call it the client/therapist barrier, and it refers to the level of divide between the two parties. It's always tricky connecting with your client, when they don't connect with you, or feel you understand them. So, not disclosing personal information, means it's harder to build rapport - you could say it's like trying to cross the Great Wall of China. Instead, I like to treat people as people, without labels. I don't expect someone to open up about their struggles if I can’t open up about mine.
As men, we've always been told that being vulnerable is weak, but I call bullshit. It's far easier to not open up, locking away the key to your emotions - which evidently gets you nowhere.
It takes far more courage and strength to be truly transparent, which I believe is the essence of vulnerability.
Here are my tips on how to be vulnerable:
Show kindness in every interaction - you don't know who needs it more than ever
Be unapologetically you - authenticity empowers you
Don't listen to the naysayers - haters gonna hate
Treat and share with people exactly how you want to be treated
Vulnerability will bring you closer than ever to the right people
Magic happens when you jump out of your comfort zone
Everyone is dealing with their own shit, you won't know unless you ask the right questions and listen without judgement.